So, I was perusing the Interwebs this afternoon, and I found a little blog entitled "How To Tell If Your Cat Is Trying To Kill You."

Some highlights:
Bringing dead animals - this isn't a gift, it's a warning.

Kneading on you - you may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness.

Interesting theories by those silly humans. Where did they get them? I'd like to know what cat leaked our diabolical schemes. This betrayal will not go unpunished!

Check it out here:
http://www.catswhothrowupgrass.com/kill.php

Toodles,
Mortecai